So many words described our feelings about Christmas. Tired, stressed, overwhelmed, and dissatisfied are a few. Where were those wonderful feelings of love and joy that we were supposed to have? Wasn't a wonderful Christmas supposed to just happen? Weren't we supposed to enjoy all the "busyness"? What was wrong with us?

Then we read Unplug the Christmas Machine. We made time to sat down together early in December to complete the exercises in the book. That helped us understand all the things that were currently going into our celebration and why we felt the way we did. Following the guidelines in the book, we set some clear goals and created a plan for the Christmas we truly wanted.

The chapter titled “Four Things Children Really Want” really made a difference for us back when our boys were 6 and 8, and I think it's still relevant, even now that they're young college men. The first thing children really want is relaxed and loving time with the family. Our plan included “family days” during December when we would all be home together—no shopping, no parties, no extra-curricular activities — just us and maybe some cookies and cocoa with a holiday movie or book.

The second thing children really want is realistic expectations for gifts. We set an overall budget for gifts and translated that into how much we would spend on each person. Now we had something concrete to work with and could tell the kids whether an iPod was a realistic gift expectation. Of course, then we tracked how much we actually were spending. This may sound cold and calculating, but I have enjoyed Christmas so much more (as do those around me), now that I'm not shopping and wrapping until I drop. Nor do I worry about what the credit card bill will look like in January.

The third thing is an evenly paced holiday season. The book has an anecdote about a child, who after a frenetic morning of opening gifts, hid in her closet crying, “If I had known that’s all there was to it, I wouldn’t have waited.” So, write down a schedule and look for fun activities to do before and after Christmas, and make sure that each person has a favorite thing on the list. (My husband tells me that our sons WILL sit down and listen to him read Dickens's Christmas Carol, at least part of it.)

The last thing that children (and us no-longer- children-in-age-but-still-in-heart) want is strong family traditions. We picked from our own childhood traditions and mixed in some new things, creating a new set of traditions. It's important that everyone in the family have a chance to say what their favorite traditions are - especially if you feel that your Christmas is too busy and you need to cut back somewhere.

At its deepest level Christmas is about new birth, rebirth and renewal of spirit. Spend some time thinking, talking and planning. You can create the holiday season you truly want. Merry Christmas!

We will continue with the 10 Keys to Successful Investing in the next newsletter. Stay tuned.

Remember to donate items to charity before December 31st. They will appreciate the donation and you'll get the deduction on your 2006 taxes. Be sure to make a list of all items and values yourself and to get a receipt (usually blank) . You can get fair market values from the book I gave you, Deduct It! Deduct It! Remember that only items in "Good" condition can be deducted (true since 8/17/06). You should take a photo to document the items and their condition. Digital photos are great, just print them on plain paper and file in your HOMEFILES organizer with the list.

Planning for retirement is not a game...or IS it? You're invited (Ladies only!) to join us on March 21st at 7 p.m. We will play a unique, interactive game that's fun, engaging and empowering. Join other women as we help Norm and Sally prepare for, and live in, retirement. You do not need to be a financial expert to learn from this game. Make your mistakes here, not in real life! This game was designed by the Boston College Center for Retirement Research (CRR). Alicia Munnell, Director of the CRR, also wrote Coming Up Short--The Challenge of 401(K) Plans. Her research has had a big impact on recent changes in the design of 401(K) plans to help ensure that women do not end up as bag ladies. Sign up through Acton-Boxborough Community Education.

The "Christmas Machine" is a modern invention of commercial interests that often gets in the way of true enjoyment of the season. The authors, Staehli and Robinson, provide an insightful view into the rat race that Christmas has become for many people, and offer a series of simple exercises you can do to "unplug" the Christmas machine and create the Christmas that you truly want.